Seeing God Through the Smoke of It All

Man, I must be taking stupid pills or something. This story might actually come off as quite comical as I'm having a good laugh looking back. I had a hard time sleeping last night so I googled my symptoms...

Fatigue
Coughing
Mucus
Abdominal Pain

Pretty common symptoms that shouldn't really give anyone a big scare. It was 4 AM and I couldn't sleep so I kept looking. I stumbled upon an unpleasant sight. Cancer had all of those symptoms. Stupid me ignored the fact that I don't have the major symptoms like a tumor and a expulsion of blood. I pretty much scared myself to sleep.

All the time, I realized that if I I did have cancer, I'd have to tell my parents. My heart immediately broke. My biggest fear in life is hurting those that I love. I don't think that I'd have the heart to be the bearer of bad news in a situation like this. I know my parents would grieve over it. Fortunately, I just have acute bronchitis which also has the exact same symptoms. (Accessibility to online resources is a useful tool but can be a dangerous thing when put in the hands of a fool...like me)

While I was pondering this, it hit me. How did God feel when Jesus was put to the cross? I know that my parents would grieve endlessly if something happened to me. I would venture to say that God grieved as nails were driven though His son's hands. He probably wept as His son was mocked, beaten, and tortured. Being God, He could have stopped this at anytime but He didn't. That's how much He loves us! He went through all of that pain...just for you and me. To think, someone so powerful and so mighty would willingly endure such great agony because of His love for us. Such a great and undeserved love that is!

I've been praying that God would restore the joy of salvation upon my heart. I think my prayers have been answered.