Reflections

The following is a testimony not of my own strength and goodness but a testimony of the power of the Holy Spirit. The events of this testimony date back to Wednesday February 10th. Last week, I opened my mailbox to find a letter from Purdue University. With my credentials, I was expecting it to be an invitation for an interview with the School of Pharmacy and Pharmaceutical Sciences. When I opened it, I was appalled. It was indeed a letter from the School of Pharmacy and Pharmaceutical Sciences but it was not the one that I was expecting. Written on this letter was "...your application...has not been approved".

When I read this, I was not overcome with grief or anger. While disappointed and confused, a sense of peace lay upon my heart. That peace was soon followed by a joy. It was quite fitting that the bible study on Friday talked about happiness and joy. Clearly, I was not happy in this situation as happiness is highly circumstantial. However, the joy that I felt was not in the fact that I got rejected nor was it in the fact that this letter was essentially a one way ticket back to Chicago for the Fall 2010 semester. My joy was found in the knowledge of who God is and His promises. I know that God is sovereign and that nothing can hinder His will. I know that God is calling the shots in my life and no matter how unpleasant they seem at the time, His plan has my best interest written all over it. And most important, I know that this place is not my home. The things of the world fade instantaneously and without warning but God and His kingdom will reign victoriously and gloriously over this earth for eternity.

The rest of that day was quite strange. I'm not going to pretend that the letter didn't affect me. It was impossible to read that letter, collect myself, and take my organic chemistry exam. But by the grace and strength of God, I was able to do such things. Throughout it all, my heart did not despair but rather, it sang praises to God the entire night. I don't think I've ever been filled by the Spirit in that manner before. In circumstances that should have had me broken, I had a joy that could not be contained.

This joy manifested itself in my conversations with my friends that night and proved to be an opportunity to both share and express my faith. When my friends heard about my circumstances, they were more angry and upset than I was. Many of them used explicative language to describe my situation showing genuine anger towards Purdue which is understandable. I know that it is within my nature to do this as well as I have done it in the past. For some reason, my heart was completely calm. Instead of joining in with the anger, I responded in humility with quietness and grace. I admitted my shortcomings and wished them the best moving forward in their studies. My friends noticed this as many of them noted how surprised they were by my calm and graceful reaction. My reaction even allowed me to talk about Christianity with another friend. I know that this calmness and grace were not of myself but by the Holy Spirit living within me.

I don't know where I will be next semester. The fact that I will be transitioning away from Purdue and to a new place both saddens and scares me. I am truly thankful for the time that I was given here at Purdue. Many of my friends said that I "wasted my time taking all of the hard pharmacy courses." While I did not achieve the result that I wanted, by no means was it a waste of time. God placed me in a position to pursue a superb education. While it sucked, I realized how blessed I am to be able to study organic chemistry and anatomy within Purdue's pharmacy school, the second best pharmacy school in the nation. Through it all, God humbled me, taught me what it meant to glorify Him through my work, and showed me what it means to have faith in the unseen.

I know that this next chapter in my life will be both exciting and nerve racking at the same time. However, I know this as well. God is faithful. The God that created the universe in its glorious perfection and had a plan for the redemption of mankind since the beginning has watched over me and blessed me the entire life. This same God will continue to direct my paths and lead me in becoming more like Him as I move forward as well. There is nothing to fear as God is in control. Give thanks to the LORD for He is good. His love endures forever.