I think I'm going to start doing my devotionals a bit more structured. Starting today, I am going to go through the book of James. The book of James was written to challenge Christians to live out their faith, something that I need to continually strive to do.

James 1:2-7
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. The man should not think he will receive anything form the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

Right in the beginning, James used the word "whenever" rather than "if" and by doing so guaranteed that there would be times of trial in our lives. I always thought that it was weird that I should be "joyful" in my trials but I have come to realize that such is a misinterpretation. Joy and happiness are not the same. The greek word used in this context is much closer to "blessed" in English rather than joy. That seems to make a lot more sense. That brings the following into question:
"Do I consider it a blessing when I face trials and temptations? Do I see hardships as an opportunity to persevere and grow?"

Now onto verse 5 (If any of you lacks wisdom...).
Perseverance and wisdom. A lot of times in the midst of trials, I'm usually clueless for two reasons. Either I legitimately have no idea of what to do or I'm over confident and I think I know what to do when in reality I don't. Either way, both of those come down to relying on myself rather than on God's direction. Verse 5 states that God will give generously if we ask for wisdom. In my hardships, do I choose to follow my own direction or be humble, realize my faults, and turn the only one who can actually solve my problems?

Verse 6 talks a lot about doubt. I feel as if this has not been a problem for me lately in terms of thought. I've been praying some pretty crazy things lately knowing full well that God can answer them if He chooses to. However, do my actions line up with my words? If I pray for opportunities to reach out to people, do I prepare myself for such opportunities? I feel like I'm the guy that prays for rain but forgets to bring his umbrella. I pray earnestly yet I fail to prepare and seek God's answers. I think that my actions show doubt.

Looking back, I feel like I'm a fool for something into this year with such a laid back cocky attitude. God continues to humble me each and everyday by teaching and rebuking me. Man, I suck yet God's so faithful..

Warning Signs

Just a bit of reflection today. Yesterday was the first time in over a week that I didn't spend quality time with the Lord. I spent time but it didn't feel genuine, more of a going through the motions sort of thing. I don't think today was a coincidence at all. During worship, I found myself day dreaming rather than lifting up praises to God. Something felt empty. And well, that's what today's message was about. Look at that!
I didn't spend time with God for one day and I felt empty inside. I think that has a lot to say about the weight at which the world comes at us. The pull of worldly things is very strong. One day I can be walking happily with the Lord and the next day I can feel completely disconnected. I can't afford to take time off when it comes to spending time with God. There are no vacations, no weekends, and no holidays when it comes to our spiritual walk. Satan uses our moments of apathy and carelessness to get a foothold.

John 15:5-8
⁵"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. ⁶If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. ⁷If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. ⁸This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

Dependence upon God is a must. Apart from Him, not only can I do nothing but I am nothing.

I really enjoyed what Alice had to share and challenge us with during the prayer meeting this past Wednesday. In order to love those around me, I think I need a better picture of how the Bible defines love. Here's what I found

1 John 3:16
"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers."

John 13:34-35
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

1 Corinthians 13
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Luke 6:27-28
But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.


There's so much more than that as well but these are some that really stood out to me. One of the clear commands is to love as God loved us. That love is the greatest love of all, one that was willing to sacrifice even at the greatest expense for the good of those whom God loves. Do I love people that way? Am I willing to lay down my personal agenda for the good of others?

I also like the 1st Corinthians one because it gives a good measuring stick. It says that "Love is patient, love is kind....". So, am I patient? Am I kind? Am I jealous or boastful? Am I easily angered? Am I self-seeking? While uncomfortable, these are all things that I really need to examine in my own life.

Ah, and the hard one, loving my enemies. I feel like this ties into the whole "love as God loved us" part. I think it's in Romans but the Bible mentions that God loved us while we were still enemies. Even though we're innately sinful and God hates sin, He loved us. If God continues to love us even when we continually wrong him and yet we go about hating our enemies, what does that say about us? Ungrateful? Hypocritical? This is probably the one that I struggle with the most.

So I've quickly examined these four passages to try and gain a better understanding of how God wants us to love. I feel like I need to keep seeking answers though.

Repetition. This past year, I was a counselor at a church camp. Whenever I wanted to drive home a point during Bible studies, I made sure to emphasize it by repeating it multiple times and then randomly pop quizzing them during the day to make sure they remembered. I feel that God is doing the exact same thing to me this week.

Matthew 6:19-21
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rest destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

This relates with my previous devotionals from this week. Grades, as important as they seem at this given moment, are just a temporary thing. Not only so but grades do not determine how God views me. God doesn't define me by my success. He doesn't look at me differently if my GPA is a 4.0 or a 1.0. GPA, success, careers, and all that other "important" stuff means nothing in the context of eternity. Like it says in this passage, "moth and rust destroy."

So the question now becomes "How do I store up treasures in heaven?" Simply put, all God asks for is that I love Him fully and completely. Loving God is just the umbrella. In John 14:15, Jesus says "If you love me, you will obey what I command." In order to honor God in the things that I do, reading God's word is a must. I really like the way King David said it in Psalm 119:11 "I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you."

Once again, I feel God tugging at my heart. This semester, the one that was supposed to be about getting good grades and putting myself in a good position to get into pharmacy school, suddenly has a new purpose. Working hard and doing my best is still important, as it is important to be a good steward of the opportunities that God blesses us with, but should not be the primary focus. This semester is not about me. It never was supposed to be but I made it so anyway. It's about bringing glory to God and working for the future of His kingdom.

With that, a song just popped into my head.

Starfield - All For You

Nothing compares to
Life I have in You
Nothing of this world satisfies
So, I want to let go
I want to let You know
All that I have to give is Yours

Here I am
As gold to the fire
I will surrender to Your hand
To this place
Lord, I have come ready for Your touch

It's all for You
It's all for You
I'm letting go
I'm letting go

What is it in me
That hangs on for so long
Why do I fight the tears that come?
I work so hard to
Keep in control when
All that I want is to let go

I'll take this life
And lay it down
I'm letting go
I'm letting go
My hopes and dreams
Here at Your feet
I'm letting go
I'm letting go

And I am ready for Your life
And I am ready for You now

Just got back from my 7:30 organic chemistry lab. I have to say, I'm pretty exhausted for some unexplained reason. I have gotten ample sleep every night since I got back to Purdue yet I still feel drained. When I got back to my dorm, I opened up my Bible to something that I bookmarked over a week ago. It could not have come at a more opportune time.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10
"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. that is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in my weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

What I find interesting about all of this is Paul's resume. Despite the "torn in [his] flesh", Paul's heart posture was one of complete surrender even though God did not answer his prayer. In Paul's weakness and humility, God used Paul for great things. When everything was said and done, Paul realized that none of this was by his own strength but solely by the grace of God and thus gave all the glory to God.

I came into this school with an attitude. Everyone warned me that the second year of pre-pharmacy would be tough yet I still thought to myself "I'm a straight A student. I got this." With each passing day, I am becoming increasingly more aware of how false that statement is. Through it all, God has been humbling me with this exhaustion. I'm not going to make it out of this semester with a "Man, I got this!" attitude but by relying on God's strength to lead me through it. I'm not as great or as awesome of a student as I thought I was a little over a week ago. It's only by God's grace that I have a sharp mind and am able to learn things as quickly as I do. I need to continually remind myself that my talent's are from God and that He is the only that deserves all the glory.

It's going to be a long year. It's the second day of school and I'm exhausted. After reading the syllabus for each class, I feel overwhelmed. The pace in which I will be required to read material is new territory. In all this, I find myself worrying about the coming semester and beyond. This semester has career implications written all over it. However, I was reminded of the same verse that got me through similar feelings during finals week the previous semester.

Psalm 46:10
"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."

The way that my devotional book interpreted this was think of it as "Relax, and know that I am God." God is ultimately in control and I therefore have nothing to worry about. Extremely comforting to know. My response to the trials and hardships to come should not be a feeling of defeated but rather to turn to God and continually seek His face in the midst of everything. With that said, that doesn't mean that I can slack off and do whatever I want. Time to go back to orgo homework...

Not to us

I've been a huge Chris Tomlin fan ever since my freshman year of high school. Even with all of his new songs, "Not to Us" remains my favorite. It was not until this morning that I realized that the song is based off of Psalm 115:1

"Not to us, O LORD, not to us
but to your name be the glory,
because of your love and faithfulness."

It's funny that this is the verse that came up in my devotional this morning because it's something that I continually struggle with. All throughout high school and even last school year, I used my studies to glorify myself. In the midst of a hectic second year pre-pharmacy curriculum, God has convicted my heart. This coming school year isn't about acing all of my classes and getting into pharmacy school. While those things remain important, they shouldn't be what drives me. If I get good grades, get into pharmacy school and yet fail to glorify God, this semester would have been put to waste. My prayer for this year is to use the abilities and talents that God blessed me with to glorify Him and make Him known.