I was put into an odd situation. Clearly I was wrong. That's not what bothered me. The situation was approached with a sense of self worth, pride, and judgement. Quite frankly, by the time it came down to the fact that I was wrong, I didn't care what the dude had to say even though he was speaking words of truth. This person did not talk to me about my problem out of love and desire to see growth. The issue was more of "I'm right, you're wrong. I'm awesome and you flat out suck!"
Instead of responding out of anger, I just bit my lip. Internally, I was fuming but externally I was calm and collected. And then it hit me. The verse thing that pissed me off is the very thing that I am equally guilty of. How often do I come off that way? When I talk to people about certain issues, is my priority a sense of self worth or a desire to see them grow? Is it out of love or is it because I am self seeking? If love isn't the root of my actions, I might as well shut up and go home.
1 Corinthians 13: 1-7
1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
Eternal Treasure
I am continually humbled with each successive exam. Second round of exams came back and all of the scores were lower than my first round by a letter grade. Last year, I would have freaked out about this. I would have gone into panic mode, locked myself in the library, and never left. I would have focused on my needs, my desires, me, me, me. I'm not saying that I'm satisfied with how I did but I realize that there is something greater in store. I desire to do well but I have an even greater desire: to walk with my Lord and Savior.
I've begun to realize what it means to "walk humbly" this school year. Last year, I thought I was such a hot shot getting the grades that I got. I thought very highly of myself, that I could do anything that I wanted. Worst of all, I thought this was all because of me and my hard work and my intelligence. I didn't praise God and thank Him for the talents that He blessed me with. This year, most of that is gone. I'm fighting to keep up. I'm trying to keep from drowning in the hustle and bustle of this school year. None of my grades are coming easy. Half of them are not what I expected coming into this school year. But through it all, God has granted me peace. I know that these trials are only momentary. I know that God is sovereign and that nothing that I do will determine whether it is His will for me to get into pharmacy school. In submission, I have given this up to God and don't really worry about the grades anymore. Grades are secondary. If I were to get A's and cursed God in the process, it wouldn't be worth it. Even though my grades aren't so hot, God is using this situation to mold me in the man that He wants me to become. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Praise the Lord for He is good! His love endures forever.
I've begun to realize what it means to "walk humbly" this school year. Last year, I thought I was such a hot shot getting the grades that I got. I thought very highly of myself, that I could do anything that I wanted. Worst of all, I thought this was all because of me and my hard work and my intelligence. I didn't praise God and thank Him for the talents that He blessed me with. This year, most of that is gone. I'm fighting to keep up. I'm trying to keep from drowning in the hustle and bustle of this school year. None of my grades are coming easy. Half of them are not what I expected coming into this school year. But through it all, God has granted me peace. I know that these trials are only momentary. I know that God is sovereign and that nothing that I do will determine whether it is His will for me to get into pharmacy school. In submission, I have given this up to God and don't really worry about the grades anymore. Grades are secondary. If I were to get A's and cursed God in the process, it wouldn't be worth it. Even though my grades aren't so hot, God is using this situation to mold me in the man that He wants me to become. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Praise the Lord for He is good! His love endures forever.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Taking a break from 2nd Samuel today. I thought of a passage during prayer meeting today and it was very convicting. Time to blog about everyone's favorite character from Bible children stories: Abraham!
So we've all heard the story about Abraham and his son Isaac. God promised Abraham a son with his wife Sarai and they waited many years. When it seemed likely that God's promise would not be fulfilled due to Sarai's age, she became pregnant with Isaac. After Isaac grew up a bit, God gave Abraham an odd command: sacrifice your son Isaac as a burnt offering. The very next day, Abraham went to do so. Abraham was all set to sacrifice Isaac and God stopped him from doing so. God provided a lamb.
Some people may wonder if this means that God is indecisive. God commands Abraham to kill Isaac and then provides a ram at the last second. I don't see this as God being indecisive but more-so seeing where Abraham's faith was at. God wanted to see how Abraham would respond to his request.
God's command was a loaded one that had many implications. God promised Abraham a son. God promised Abraham that he would be the father of many nations. So, if Abraham kills his son, how can he be the father of many nations? Abraham did not worry about such things. He trusted God fully in this situation, shown through his nearly instantaneous obedience to God's command. He knew that God is faithful and holds true to His promises. He knew that Isaac was a gift from God, something that he did not deserve. More than anything, his desire was to obey God and glorify Him.
This is something that I've been struggling with lately, lifting things up to God. There are certain things that I feel like if God were to call me to give up, my heart would hesitate and wrestle with Him. I've been finding that a lot of my prayers are conditional rather than those of genuine surrender to God's will.
"Lord, I lift situation x up to you and acknowledge that you are God and that you are sovereign. Let your will be known and may it be done...BUT I really really really want this to happen."
My prayer is that I can stop saying those conditional prayers, that I can stop thinking that my way is better than God's way and to fully trust and obey His direction in every situation.
So we've all heard the story about Abraham and his son Isaac. God promised Abraham a son with his wife Sarai and they waited many years. When it seemed likely that God's promise would not be fulfilled due to Sarai's age, she became pregnant with Isaac. After Isaac grew up a bit, God gave Abraham an odd command: sacrifice your son Isaac as a burnt offering. The very next day, Abraham went to do so. Abraham was all set to sacrifice Isaac and God stopped him from doing so. God provided a lamb.
Some people may wonder if this means that God is indecisive. God commands Abraham to kill Isaac and then provides a ram at the last second. I don't see this as God being indecisive but more-so seeing where Abraham's faith was at. God wanted to see how Abraham would respond to his request.
God's command was a loaded one that had many implications. God promised Abraham a son. God promised Abraham that he would be the father of many nations. So, if Abraham kills his son, how can he be the father of many nations? Abraham did not worry about such things. He trusted God fully in this situation, shown through his nearly instantaneous obedience to God's command. He knew that God is faithful and holds true to His promises. He knew that Isaac was a gift from God, something that he did not deserve. More than anything, his desire was to obey God and glorify Him.
This is something that I've been struggling with lately, lifting things up to God. There are certain things that I feel like if God were to call me to give up, my heart would hesitate and wrestle with Him. I've been finding that a lot of my prayers are conditional rather than those of genuine surrender to God's will.
"Lord, I lift situation x up to you and acknowledge that you are God and that you are sovereign. Let your will be known and may it be done...BUT I really really really want this to happen."
My prayer is that I can stop saying those conditional prayers, that I can stop thinking that my way is better than God's way and to fully trust and obey His direction in every situation.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Patience and Faith
2 Samuel 3-5:5
A fairly long passage today but the story naturally flows and it would have been awkward to stop inbetween.
In summary..
-Abner switches sides and helps David gain control of all of Israel
-Joab, brother of Ashael, murders Abner. This death causes David to mourn as David notes of Abner's unjust death.
-Ish-Bosheth, king over Israel and a part of Saul's house, is murdered by two men in his sleep. These two men report to David and face a more severe punishment than that of the man who killed Saul.
-David becomes king over all of Israel just as God promised.
Here's what I find interesting. Again, David knows that the Lord promised him the throne over all of Israel. David did not grow impatient or anxious with the Lord and trusted in His timing. What strikes me most is David's character through it all. While he is waiting, he is continually acting justly and honoring God through his actions. In no way did David do things to dishonor the Lord. Others did but David refused to condone such behavior as noted by the punishment that such men received. Opportunities came up where David could have just said "Yeah thanks man for doing that. He was an obstacle to taking the throne. Now that he's gone, it's all mine!" but David acted justly.
Another thing to note is how little sense this all must have made while it was going on. David knows that he is supposed to inherit the throne. Earlier in 2nd Samuel, he took the throne over Judah. Then Ish-Bosheth took the throne over Israel. After that Abner, a well renowned leader of Saul's army, joins David's side. Right after he joins David's side, he is murdered by one of David's men. Then after that, Ish-Bosheth is murdered. All of this time, I would have lost focused on God's promise and questioned God for everything going on around me. David did not do this. He held on patiently knowing full-well that God would keep His promise. And He did.
While God never promised that I would be ruler over Israel, a well renowned pharmacist, a loving husband and father, He has promised me something so much greater than the aforementioned. He has promised me a relationship with Him and a spot in His kingdom. Despite these ever present troubles and hardships, let's keep our eyes on what God has in store for us! I can say with confidence and conviction that what God has promised is so much greater than anything that is going on in our lives right now. Set your eyes upon His glory and His kingdom and fix them there.
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NIV)
A fairly long passage today but the story naturally flows and it would have been awkward to stop inbetween.
In summary..
-Abner switches sides and helps David gain control of all of Israel
-Joab, brother of Ashael, murders Abner. This death causes David to mourn as David notes of Abner's unjust death.
-Ish-Bosheth, king over Israel and a part of Saul's house, is murdered by two men in his sleep. These two men report to David and face a more severe punishment than that of the man who killed Saul.
-David becomes king over all of Israel just as God promised.
Here's what I find interesting. Again, David knows that the Lord promised him the throne over all of Israel. David did not grow impatient or anxious with the Lord and trusted in His timing. What strikes me most is David's character through it all. While he is waiting, he is continually acting justly and honoring God through his actions. In no way did David do things to dishonor the Lord. Others did but David refused to condone such behavior as noted by the punishment that such men received. Opportunities came up where David could have just said "Yeah thanks man for doing that. He was an obstacle to taking the throne. Now that he's gone, it's all mine!" but David acted justly.
Another thing to note is how little sense this all must have made while it was going on. David knows that he is supposed to inherit the throne. Earlier in 2nd Samuel, he took the throne over Judah. Then Ish-Bosheth took the throne over Israel. After that Abner, a well renowned leader of Saul's army, joins David's side. Right after he joins David's side, he is murdered by one of David's men. Then after that, Ish-Bosheth is murdered. All of this time, I would have lost focused on God's promise and questioned God for everything going on around me. David did not do this. He held on patiently knowing full-well that God would keep His promise. And He did.
While God never promised that I would be ruler over Israel, a well renowned pharmacist, a loving husband and father, He has promised me something so much greater than the aforementioned. He has promised me a relationship with Him and a spot in His kingdom. Despite these ever present troubles and hardships, let's keep our eyes on what God has in store for us! I can say with confidence and conviction that what God has promised is so much greater than anything that is going on in our lives right now. Set your eyes upon His glory and His kingdom and fix them there.
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NIV)
Monday, October 26, 2009
2nd Samuel 2:8-32
As I was reading this, I struggled stuff to meditate on and apply to my life. For the most part, this part of 2nd Samuel talks about how one of Saul's sons, Ish-Bosheth, assumed the throne over Israel while David was king over Judah. The two armies battle is out in a 24 person dagger match which ultimately led to no resolution because all 24 men (12 from each side) died rather than settling a victory. What I find most interesting in this passage is the character of one of the men in David's army, Asahel.
Asahel took it at his own personal goal to kill Abner, leader of Ish-Bosheth's army. Such was not the order from the head of David's army, Joab, or the brother of Asahel. Asahel continually pursued Abner. Abner warned Asahel multiple times to turn back because he did not desire to take Asahel's life but Asahel refused. Abner warned Asahel yet again but again, the recommendation was ignored. Abner was left with no choice but to kill Asahel.
It seems like Asahel's main desire in this situation was to kill Abner for personal gain. Had he done so, David's army likely would have praised Him. Driven by his desire to be glorified, Asahel walked into his own death. So, what drives us? What motivates us to stay in the library for hours reading stuff that we don't even care about? What drives us to stay on the basketball court and shoot jumpers until our arms are about to fall off? Being persistent is not a bad thing but being persistent for selfish reasons can be. The thing that drives us should ultimately be the glory of God. In all the things that we do, that would be our aim, our desire, our goal.
As I was reading this, I struggled stuff to meditate on and apply to my life. For the most part, this part of 2nd Samuel talks about how one of Saul's sons, Ish-Bosheth, assumed the throne over Israel while David was king over Judah. The two armies battle is out in a 24 person dagger match which ultimately led to no resolution because all 24 men (12 from each side) died rather than settling a victory. What I find most interesting in this passage is the character of one of the men in David's army, Asahel.
Asahel took it at his own personal goal to kill Abner, leader of Ish-Bosheth's army. Such was not the order from the head of David's army, Joab, or the brother of Asahel. Asahel continually pursued Abner. Abner warned Asahel multiple times to turn back because he did not desire to take Asahel's life but Asahel refused. Abner warned Asahel yet again but again, the recommendation was ignored. Abner was left with no choice but to kill Asahel.
It seems like Asahel's main desire in this situation was to kill Abner for personal gain. Had he done so, David's army likely would have praised Him. Driven by his desire to be glorified, Asahel walked into his own death. So, what drives us? What motivates us to stay in the library for hours reading stuff that we don't even care about? What drives us to stay on the basketball court and shoot jumpers until our arms are about to fall off? Being persistent is not a bad thing but being persistent for selfish reasons can be. The thing that drives us should ultimately be the glory of God. In all the things that we do, that would be our aim, our desire, our goal.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Christianity and Legalism
I thoroughly enjoyed today's message. I had my share of doubts when the speaker was late but all in all, the Holy Spirit spoke today. Despite the human error, God was victorious as the message was extremely convincing and rather piercing upon my heart.
Complacency is every man's enemy, especially in our relationship with Christ. It's so easy to forget about who God is and what He does for us. We take our eyes off of Jesus (much like Peter did when He was walking on water) and the weight of the world drowns our Spirit. Following God becomes this giant chore and we get caught up behind the legalism of it all rather than the relationship aspect. We continue to do the do's and not do the don'ts, not because of our love for Christ but because that's what we're instructed to do.
Christianity isn't this giant legalist community where people just follow a bunch of laws because some guy up there said so. Christianity is about living in the covenant of grace in which God has allowed us to experience through the life, death, and resurrection of His son, Jesus. Once we have lost sight of this, the devil has effectively won. Gone is the desire to worship God, to serve Him, and to become more like Him by glorifying Him through following His commands. What is left is the attitude that we need to do all these thing's otherwise God is going to frown upon us. There is absolutely nothing that we can do to gain favor in God's eyes. If we follow all of the laws and yet break JUST ONE, we are guilty of breaking the law in its entirety. It is through grace, not legalism, that we will one day enter in the presence of our God and praise Him for eternity.
With each passing moment, I find that I my debt becomes greater but so does God's grace.
Complacency is every man's enemy, especially in our relationship with Christ. It's so easy to forget about who God is and what He does for us. We take our eyes off of Jesus (much like Peter did when He was walking on water) and the weight of the world drowns our Spirit. Following God becomes this giant chore and we get caught up behind the legalism of it all rather than the relationship aspect. We continue to do the do's and not do the don'ts, not because of our love for Christ but because that's what we're instructed to do.
Christianity isn't this giant legalist community where people just follow a bunch of laws because some guy up there said so. Christianity is about living in the covenant of grace in which God has allowed us to experience through the life, death, and resurrection of His son, Jesus. Once we have lost sight of this, the devil has effectively won. Gone is the desire to worship God, to serve Him, and to become more like Him by glorifying Him through following His commands. What is left is the attitude that we need to do all these thing's otherwise God is going to frown upon us. There is absolutely nothing that we can do to gain favor in God's eyes. If we follow all of the laws and yet break JUST ONE, we are guilty of breaking the law in its entirety. It is through grace, not legalism, that we will one day enter in the presence of our God and praise Him for eternity.
With each passing moment, I find that I my debt becomes greater but so does God's grace.
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